I'm Terrified of Ageing

Sunday, 18 April 2021

 



I remember being in my late teens and early twenties, coming across products with anti-ageing properties in shops or during beauty consultations and glossing over them, almost with a tiny little scoff - 'psh, no I don't need to worry about that yet!'

Maybe it was because at the time, my biggest concern was my acne. Or maybe it was because when you're that kind of age, wrinkles and the ageing process isn't even on your radar - and frankly, you hold a certain attitude that you don't quite believe that ageing will ever happen to you. 

Fast-forward to just after I turned 26, and I come across my first wrinkle (which I wrote another blog post about, read it here if you fancy a giggle). I'd been using SPF & eye cream for a couple of years by that point, but in finding that single, faint frown line creeping across my forehead, it was like something switched in my brain and I realised that actually, I was going to get older too. I was going to get more frown lines, more wrinkles, my skin might even eventually start to sag a little. It's inevitable.

And that. Is. Terrifying.

It's become a bit of an obsession over the last year. Constantly researching products that might be able to help me to stop the visible signs of getting older in their tracks. Comparing myself to my friends and trying to analyse if I have more or less wrinkles than they do. Staring at the fine lines under my eyes and wondering if they look more prominent today than they did the day before. Trying EVERY concealer under the sun because they all show the lines and all I want to do is cover them up and pretend they're not there. 

It sounds superficial, but unfortunately we all know that society puts pressure on us to look a certain way. And yes, part of me is worried that I'll be less pretty when I start getting older. 

But there is an another emotional element to it. I'm creeping closer to 30. And I'm very aware of the fact that I'm no where near where I envisioned I'd be by 30. While deep down I know I'm putting too much pressure on myself and I still have loads of time, I'm so aware of the fact that I can't get time back and my twenties seem to have zipped by!

I'd love to say I'm at the point now where I'm embracing my fine lines, and I've made a resolution that I'll age like Meryl Streep or Helen Mirren. I'm not there yet. It's a process. For now, I'm just trying to obsess less. That'll be a good start.

(I'm still considering Botox when I hit my 30s though. But that's a post for another day!)

Love,

Sian xo 


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