Dear 16 Year Old Sian

Sunday, 15 March 2020


Dear 16 Year Old Sian,

Bloody hell, 10 years has gone by in a flash. Thats the thing with getting older, the time passes more quickly and the years that seemed to stretch out for forever are simply fleeting moments in time. (I sound like I'm about 68 saying that but the principle still stands!)

16 Year Old Sian, I'm writing to you because I remember what it was like. I remember how much you struggled, how lonely you felt. How you lost all of your confidence and spent most of your time wondering how you'd ever make it through to uni.

Well, my girl, I'm here to tell you a few things that I wish I'd known then. And to show you that you make it through all of that crap, and you actually turn out pretty okay.

You're full of ambition right now, and you dream big. Don't lose that. Adulthood has a way of limiting your ambition, under the guise of 'being realistic'. But keep dreaming as much as you want to, because that will give you your purpose.

You work so ridiculously hard, you'll get to the point where you'll wish you had the same work ethic as you do now (trust me, I know). Keep that going. It'll all be worth it.

I know you have your grand life plan, and you're adamant that you know exactly what you want from life and how you'll get there. And that's amazing, because you're so bloody driven. But know that sometimes a grand life plan doesn't always work out the way that you hope. Which I know is your worst nightmare, and I won't lie to you, it's stressful. But try to embrace it. Another door will be opening.

You'll hate it, but Mum's (almost) always right. And while we're on that topic, I know how much you worry about her, but you don't need to. She's going to be just fine.

Try to spend less time worrying about what others think of you. In a few years, when you've left high school behind, your reputation and position in the Sixth Form hierarchy really won't matter any more.

And especially don't waste your time trying to win over the people who you know have whispered behind your back. You'll never win. And give it a few years and you won't even remember their names anyway.

Stop worrying (obsessing) about your weight. Eat the bloody cake. Stop punishing yourself at the gym. Your weight doesn't define your worth, and there is a hell of a lot more to you than the number on the labels in your clothes. It's going to take you some time to realise that, but you'll get there.

Oooh also, you're soon going to get the urge to buy a box hair dye and attempt to go dark brown. DO. NOT. DO. IT. It took me years to fix that mistake.

You're going to get your heart broken. A fair few times, actually. The people who were never supposed to hurt you, sometimes do. Just know that when it does happen, even when it feels like you'll never be happy again, you will. With the help of your friends and a lot of wine.

And it isn't just boyfriends who can break your heart. Family members too. And you'll let them upset you, manipulate you and take advantage of your good nature because you feel like you have to put up with their behaviours, because they're family. Know this - YOU DO NOT OWE A TOXIC PERSON A PLACE IN YOUR LIFE BECAUSE THEY ARE A BLOOD RELATION. I can't tell you how much I wish I'd come to this realisation sooner.

Trust me, Sian, I remember what it was like for you. I remember feeling so isolated and lonely, coming home in tears every evening. Wondering how much longer Sixth Form would last before I could run away, A-Levels in hand, into the sunset and a new life. But hang in there. You're just around the corner from making the best friends of your life, coming out of your shell and finding your confidence again. Don't get me wrong, you'll still have struggles. But you'll be you. 

Oh and Sian, don't worry. You've got this.

Love,
26 Year Old Sian xo

2 comments

  1. Oh darling, I had tears by reading the end of this! Thank you so much for being so open and brave and sharing such an honest raw blog post. I'm sending you so much love. 💜

    With love, Alisha Valerie x | www.alishavalerie.com

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  2. I was telling you this at the time hon. You were an amazing 16 year old and you are awesome now!

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