Making Friends in Your 20s Is TOUGH

Sunday, 24 November 2019

I've always been someone who has had a pretty solid circle of friends around her. There's always been someone just down the road, or a group chat for me to unload all of my life's woes. Especially during my time at uni, there was always someone I could call on for a spontaneous night out, for a shopping buddy or to simply watch telly and eat biscuits with.

Since moving away from those friends though, I feel like I've become a lot more introverted. My social life isn't anywhere near as busy as it once was, and I rarely seem to have plans with friends. Part of that is probably because I work full-time now as opposed to a few hours at uni per week and 16 hours working. Part of it is the fact that going out all night doesn't really appeal to me any more.

But, if we're being honest, a lot of my new, introverted life is due to the fact that making friends in your 20s is bloody difficult.

The thing is about this stage of life, everyone has made their friends already. People have got their mates from school, from college, childhood friends, family friends, whatever. And once those groups have already formed, they're pretty solid. Which is obviously great for them, not so great when you've just moved to a city, are feeling a bit isolated and trying to make friends of your own.

Don't get me wrong, a lot of it may be down to where I live, and the fact that there isn't all that much going on. Bloggers events are pretty much non-existent in Lincoln, I used to love going salsa dancing every week when I lived in Sheffield, but there are no classes near me. My opportunities to meet new people are so limited due to my geographical location, so I end up in a loop of going to work, going home, repeat. And I just have no idea where to start looking to meet people in such a little city.

Another huge issue for me is the fact that I'm in my mid-20s but still have all of the insecurities of a teenager. And this holds me back so much because I've either shirked opportunities to put myself out there, or I've let myself fade into the background because I'm bloody terrified of what people think of me, or of coming across as a bit weird. It was like high-school Sian was stood on my shoulder going 'you're definitely not cool enough for this, abort mission!' And I've coming away kicking myself, thinking I missed another chance to start breaking down all of the loneliness that I've felt since moving here.

Yep, I'm really struggling if I'm being honest. While I still have friends who I know I can call upon, a lot of them are hundreds of miles away and I only see them every few months, so the day-to-day loneliness doesn't get any easier. And it's getting really embarrassing every weekend when I'm asked if I have plans for the weekend and I have to say no! Applications for a best mate on a postcard, please.

Does anyone else feel this way?

Love,
Sian xo


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