The Quarter Life Crisis

Sunday, 28 July 2019

Okay, before you start chuckling, hear me out. This is very serious business.

This year, I hit the ripe old age of 25. I am officially in my mid-twenties. Which is a little bit of a scary prospect when I cast my mind back to the eve of my 20th birthday when I was full on freaking out at the thought of not being a teenager any more. The fact that I am now mid-way through a decade which I was dreading, and 30 is equidistant to 20... yikes.

I'm now at that funny time of life where an engagement ring is gracing my Facebook feed pretty much once every couple of weeks, and if it isn't engagement rings, it's baby photos or pregnancy announcements. If it isn't that, it's someone who is going off on their travels or someone who has just had an offer accepted on their first house. That age where everyone seems to be hitting milestones of one form or another, sometimes going in wildly varying directions and here I am in the middle somewhere, in the midst of the 'I SAID YES TO THE DRESS' posts & time-lapses of far off countries and hearing my mother comment 'you know that girl you went to school with...?', slogging away at my 9-5, getting excited about my Saturday night takeaway and living a thoroughly unextraordinary life, wondering if I'm getting it all wrong.

Welcome, my friends, to the quarter-life crisis.

Don't get me wrong, in a lot of ways I'm very lucky. I'm just the right side of having my shit sort-of together. I have a good job, I'm living independently, I'm in a long-term relationship, I earn enough money to pay my bills and have my nails done and go on days out. I'm not quite a hot mess (although there is still time.) But, all of a sudden, I seem to have realised that life is in fact short, and my biggest fear is looking back and regretting choices I've made or at what time of life I hit these milestones. And while in reality, I know it's probably a result of comparing myself to what I see on social media but bloody hell it's knocked me for six.

Let's take a classic example. I know that I am in no way ready for children. Not a chance. The thought of getting no sleep, having to change nappies and bodily fluids become a normal part of my day-to-day routine, it just does not appeal to me right now. And don't even get me started on pregnancy. I know I want to be a mum one day, but one day is very far into the future, potentially even past 30. Plus the fact that I'm a little bit old fashioned and want to get married before I have kids, and am I ready to get engaged? No sir.

But the issue of having a lot of friends and colleagues who are 5-10 years older than you, is that they all start weighing in on the issue. That's without factoring in family members who are just dying to know your entire life plan...

'No, you're young, you have plenty of time for marriage and babies. 25 is no age'

'Why bother getting married first? It doesn't change anything. Wasted money to be honest'

'Well, having kids younger is better. Then you aren't old when they're 18 and you get your life back. Really, you need to be thinking about having them now'

'You're 25 now Sian, your biological clock will be starting to tick'

Yep, I have genuinely been told every single one of these. Biological clock is ticking! The problem is, when you hear this stuff, you internalise it and it makes you question yourself. Everyone loves to tell you the 'perfect age' to do x,y and z, and it just makes you want to ask for the link to this rulebook on Amazon because maybe you missed it?!

I've made it no secret on my blog that my career pathway hasn't exactly gone to plan over recent years. And while I try not to let that bother me, especially now that I'm almost a year into a job which I love (for the most part) and could really see myself carving a career out of, but there's always this little niggling voice in the back of my brain saying Yeah but it isn't journalism though is it, hun? And sometimes, it's a voice that's actually being spoken out loud by a no-holds-barred family member. And no, it isn't journalism and whilst I do sometimes feel guilty that those I went to uni or school with are already being promoted with salaries that would make my eyes water, I'm doing okay right? Right?

The best way I can describe it is thinking back to my 19 year old self. The girl with big dreams, full of confidence. If that girl saw me now, what would she think?

I'll be honest, I think her first thought would be What the f**k happened? 19 year old me wanted me to have gone on adventures, moved to London and be working on a magazine by now. Hah.

Instead, I'm living just a stone's throw away from my home town, working as an estate agent, in my pyjamas by 8pm, living away from most of my friends and nights out tend to be the last thing on my mind.

I wonder if I've let my 19 year old self down by the life that I'm living now. And then I remember how naive 19 year old me was. She didn't understand the responsibilities of having to pay bills. She didn't know how difficult it would be to save money for a big city move. She didn't count on one of the worst periods of her life making it almost unbearable to be too far away from her family. The thing is, life gets in the way. And I'd hope that 19 year old me will understand that 25 year old me is just trying to muddle through as best she can.

And muddling through is exactly how I'm planning on getting through this quarter-life crisis, and hope it all falls into place. And it will. Right?

I can't promise I won't keep feeling half-jealous and mildly irritated with the engagement posts though. I'm only human!

Sian xo

My Holy Grail Products for Summer

Sunday, 21 July 2019

It feels like such a long time since I posted on the ol' blog! But I'm BACK, and I'm so ready to get stuck into blogging again!

So, for my first post I'm going to share with you my holy grail products for the summer. I love being able to adapt my beauty routine for the season and for me, the summer is all about dewy skin, a fresh-faced look, fluttery lashes & rosy cheeks. The products I'm featuring in this post are the ones that I'm finding myself reaching for every day and my summer beauty routine just wouldn't be complete without them!

Love Beauty & Planet Coconut Water & Mimosa Flower Cleansing Gel
For me, a perfect beauty routine will always start with the skincare. I've started using this cleaner from Love Beauty & Planet quite recently, because I've been trying to make an effort to incorporate more natural products into my routines. Not only does this cleanser smell AMAZING, it's so gentle on the skin and is perfect for hydrating my often-dry skin.

Freshly Cosmetics Facial Toner with Lime
I won this toner as part of a set in a giveaway from Lady Writes Blog, but I am obsessed with it, especially at this time of year. The lime makes it smell fabulous and feels so refreshing on my skin, giving it that extra little bit of a hydration boost.

Dermalogica Prisma Perfect [GIFTED]
Using SPF is important all year round, but especially in the summer. I'll confess that it's a set that I am guilty of missing out but Prisma Perfect has been a total game-changer for me. It protects, hydrates and makes me glowwwwww. I'll 100% be repurchasing when this tube runs out because I don't think I could be without it now!

Charlotte Tilbury Hollywood Flawless Filter
I don't know about you, but during the warm summer days, I can't imagine anything worse than putting on a heavy foundation, only for it to be sliding off my face within an hour of stepping outside. All I want over the summer is something lightweight with just a little bit of coverage, and the Hollywood Flawless Filter is everything I need and more. The glow it gives is incredible, and it feels like I'm not wearing any foundation at all. Perfect for summer days!

The Body Shop Rose Dewy Glow Face Mist
I love a face mist during the summer, and this Body Shop mist is a firm favourite. It's so versatile, I mostly use it either as a primer or on no-foundation days to refresh my face, even out my skin tone and give a dewy finish. It's only £6 so amazing value for money, and the perfect size to pop in your handbag to spritz throughout the day!

Glossier Cloud Paint in Puff
Glossier is fast becoming one of my favourite brands. I love how the products are high quality, fuss free, and versatile enough to use in a way which fits in around you. I didn't think I'd fall in love with Cloud Paint blush as much as I did! The formula can only be described as dreamy, the colour is buildable and gives a gorgeous flush of colour in a second, perfect for when I'm late getting out of the door (so most days!) Puff is the perfect summer shade for rosy cheeks too!

L'oreal Paradise Mascara
If I could only use one product for the rest of my life, it would have to be mascara. I swear that I still feel half-asleep if I don't have it on! The Paradise mascara is one of my all-time faves (although nothing will beat Too Faced's Better Than Sex), for long, fluttery lashes, the perfect flourish for a summer look.

Vaseline Lip Balm in Rose Tint
An oldie, but a goodie. The Vaseline lip balms have been a handbag staple for me for about 10 years, and I can't see that changing any time soon. And I love the rose tint in the summer for the perfect pop of colour when I don't feel like fussy make up.

What are your summer beauty staples?

Sian xo