I'm (Still) A Little Bit Lost

Wednesday, 14 March 2018

I'm at that age, around your mid-twenties, where half of my friends are getting mortgages, getting engaged and having babies, and the other half are getting drunk every other night, losing their phones (and dignities) in completely random incidents on a Saturday night with no responsibilities.

As for me, I don't fit into either of those categories.

You might remember my post in which I opened up about feeling a little bit lost, just about to finish university with no clue as to what the hell I was going to do next. Well, it's been almost two years and I still feel just as lost.

I've always been the kind of person to dream big. I've known exactly what I've wanted, how I'm going to get there and believed in my own ability, especially as a writer. But as I've got older, my dreams have shrunk, responsibilities have taken over and I've been wondering whether I really am good enough to pursue the one thing I love the most.

Is this the realities of living in the adult world, or just me losing faith in myself?

Either way, I'm at a little bit of a stalemate. And while I know how incredibly lucky I am in comparison to others, I can't help but feel like everything is just okay. I like my job, and the company I work for is great, but what happened to my dreams of writing all day every day? Lincoln is a nice enough place to live, but I know I'm a city girl at heart. I'm very close to my family, which I love but I remember being a child and promising my mum that I was going to be successful and as soon as I was, she'd get a big house and a beautiful car and I'd take her on holiday because she deserves it. I feel like I haven't made good on that promise and in turn, I've let her down.

And as someone with big dreams, I'm really struggling with things just being okay. 

I think it can be difficult to balance pursuing your dreams and making sure you are keeping to your adult responsibilities. And as you grow up, your realise that big ambitions need to work practically, and the world may get in the way of what you want.

So, how do I get myself out of this stalemate? 

I genuinely don't have an answer for this one. I guess if I did, I wouldn't feel the need to write this post. Right now, I'm just going to keep writing as much as I can, take everything as it comes, have faith in myself & wing it. It's got me along so far.

Have you ever felt like this?

Love,
Sian xo

17 comments:

  1. I’m 26 this year, I bought my house here years ago and I’m in a strong long term relationship. But I am lost too! My career isn’t where I want it to be and I’d like to get engaged but not quite yet. Your twenties are hard to navigate I guess!

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    1. Definitely - I think it's because everyone's at such different stages and no one of those is the right way, and we're all our own worst enemies with comparing ourselves! xo

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  2. I feel like this RIGHT NOW. You are definitely not alone. I don't fit into either of those categories; I'm in a long term relationship but NOT ready for kids and we still live at my parents house. I also don't drink and I'm not interested in pubs and clubs anymore. I feel incredibly stagnant (that's an awful word haha) and I'm 26 this year. But I try and remember that everyone goes at their own pace and life isn't a race!

    Jenny
    http://www.jennyinneverland.com

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    1. I'm similar to you babe, I'm in a relationship but we definitely don't want the whole marriage/kids thing for a while yet, we need our own place, but I'm not fussed on the whole going out getting drunk thing, I had my time doing all of that at uni. I just have to keep hoping everything will fall into place! xo

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  3. I know what you mean angel, I'm married but I want to move out, but house prices in my area are really high, so it's difficult to get on the ladder. It's all about saving.

    Love, Amie ❤
    The Curvaceous Vegan

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    1. Ah yeah I'll bet it's so expensive, it is around here let alone down south! You'll get there though babe, I don't doubt that xo

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  4. It’s ok to ‘muddle through’ your 20’s and even when married not have life as together as you hope. If you had all you could want, life could get tiresome and mundane. You just have to know this is not a perminany state and keep strive nag for something- even if it’s a small goal like finding the bottom of the wash pile! Know you are loved and have people around you that makes whatever you are going through bearable and it will see you through. Remember wwsd­čśé

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  6. It's totally ok for you to feel a little bit lost. Everything happens for a reason and as long as you're happy, what else matters? x x

    Amy | http://amylt.co.uk/

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    1. You're absolutely right - happiness in the most important thing xo

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  7. I feel this so much right now. It's a struggle. I think we spent so much of our lives thinking about what we'll do and how we'll be in the future but the future is now and I don't feel like I'm making the most of it?? (If that makes sense?) At least I know we're not alone in this. Great post :)

    www.bellechaton.com

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    1. Definitely - we put a really high expectation on ourselves about how we should be living and beat ourselves up when we don't achieve it! Glad you enjoyed honey xo

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  8. I feel this way too. All the time. I'm going to be 27 in a a short 2 months, and I thought I would of had my life figured out by now. That is no where near happening. I've come to realize, that even though we're getting older, and we do not know what the hell we want out of life, we do not have to have it all figured out. We can be lost, but still be ok.

    xoxo.

    www.theshortchick.com

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  9. I wish I could go back to my mid-twenties! I'm turning 33 this year and my advice to you is to just let things happen. Most of my friends also seem to be moving forward with their life while I'm still single, no mortgage, no kids but I have a great job and wonderful friends & family. Right now I'm just going with the flow.

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