Why I Really Really Hate Make Up Shaming

Sunday, 7 January 2018

Today's blog post is one which I have had whizzing around in the back of my mind for quite a long time, mostly because I experience make-up shaming in one form or another on a pretty regular basis. But it wasn't really until I spotted a video which was the launch of Sleek's My Face. My Rules campaign that I decided maybe it was time to put my two-pence in.

I've always been what you'd call a 'girly girl'. I vividly remember being three or four years old and sifting through my mum's make up bag in the mornings whilst she was getting ready, wanting more than anything to be grown-up enough to wear her pretty lipsticks and carry around a powder compact like hers (not that I had any idea what powder did. I just wanted it for the mirror, really.) The older I got, the more I loved experimenting with make up and getting ready in the mornings.

I thought there was nothing wrong with that. And there wasn't. 

Unfortunately, other people told me otherwise. One morning, as I was putting my make up on ready for school (Natural Collection, of course), my dad commented that, 'it's all about vanity with you, isn't it?'

On a residential trip with my youth group, a youth worker told me as I got up fifteen minutes earlier than the other girls, 'It's ridiculous that you're getting up early to put all of that rubbish on your face. It's just shallow if you ask me.'

Friends still say to me sometimes, on a fairly regular basis, 'You need to stop wearing so much of that. You're just hiding what you really look like.'

Each and every time I got a jibe about how much make up I wore, I felt the need to defend myself. To tell them how self-conscious I felt about a spot on my chin. Or agree that yes, I am a little superficial and scuffle away, completely embarrassed.

Any of this sound familiar?

For me, wearing make up is in no way connected to being superficial, or vain, or shallow. It's not a way for me to hide what I really look like (and really - if anyone believes that I genuinely have ruby coloured lips or glitter eyelids, the problem definitely doesn't lie with me.) Putting on my make up in the morning is almost a form of self-care. I find it almost therapeutic, I guess. I feel more awake once my make up is on, and ready for the day in front of me.

And in all honesty, wearing make up has been almost a coping mechanism for me for a long time. As someone who has suffered with anxiety for four years now, I found that putting my make up on was like putting on my war paint. Once it was on, I felt slightly more like a functioning human than I had been when I first woke up with the knots in the pit of my stomach, and I could now face whatever was scaring me on the other side of my front door. (This did backfire on me a little when I went to the GP and he told me that I looked 'too well put together to have anxiety' but hey!)

It's an incredibly long-winded way to get to my point, but what I'm getting at is, there is SO much judgemental, negative and downright bitchy behaviour around us all of the time, that something as simple as whether or not you wear make up, the amount you wear and how you wear it becomes a point of criticism. Why?!

If you want to wear make up every day, then go for it. If you don't, rock the natural look. If you want to put on false lashes and contour to go to the supermarket, amazing! If you're a guy and want to start wearing make up, also amazing! But, if you'd rather have an extra fifteen minutes in bed in a morning and not bother, I'm actually a bit jealous! But PLEASE can we just stop associating make up with vanity, and a lack of make up with being a scruff? We have way too much negativity flying around as it is. Stop being judgemental of what others choose to put on their face, okay?!

Love,

Sian xo




22 comments:

  1. So long as you know you are beautiful whether it is on or not, I’m all for it. It’s when you can’t see your beauty or self worth, so hide behind all the layers of creams and concealer that it’s a problem. All girls should know that beauty is not about spots or blemishes, it’s about your heart and soul, and Sian, yours is beautiful!

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  2. Love this!! I've always seen makeup as a way of expression, I feel more feminine with a pink lip and fluttery lashes and I feel confident and sexy with a smokey eye and a red lip. They don't call it war paint for no reason I always feel so much more put together and ready for my day with my makeup on. I can't believe your GP actually said that to you, that's awful! You do you girl!

    Toni x
    www.clarkecouture.co.uk

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    1. Exactly! It's letting your personality come through on your face and letting you be creative - but for some reason there's a stigma?! It's so bizarre. But then at the same time I've also known people get shamed for not wearing make up so you can't win!! Thank you for reading! xo

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  3. Such an interesting point of view. So enjoyed the read

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    1. I'm glad you enjoyed it - thank you for reading! xo

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  4. Really loved this post! Couldn’t see a way to follow, are you on bloglovin’? Definitely want to see more posts like this, I love a think piece!

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    1. Thank you for reading lovely - I sent you a bloglovin' link on Twitter! xo

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  5. This was such a good read - makeup is a way for so many people to express their personality too. Can't believe the comment from your doctor!
    Saira
    www.throughtheglitterglass.wordpress.com
    Xxxx

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    1. I'm glad you enjoyed it honey! Yeah exactly, it's just a way of self expression so I have no idea why it's become a point of criticism! Ah I know, I couldn't believe it either - I didn't go back to see him! xo

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  6. Really enjoyed your thoughts on this. Sometimes I wear make up, sometimes I don't, depends on the day, but I'd never hassle anyone for their choice, because in the end it is YOUR choice about what makes you feel great xx

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    1. Exactly! So well put! It's irrelevant whether or not you wear it in my opinion, as long as you're happy and comfortable in your own skin that's all that matters! xo

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  7. i love this so much!! I really appreciate this post. I looove wearing makeup in fact the career field im going into revolves around makeup. I get told constantly that I wear "too much" or that I "look better without it"
    There are so many negative things surrounding the idea of makeup when really all it is (to me at least) is expression. No one NEEDS makeup but its fun to wear..I really don't get why people can't mind their own business and leave the ones who want to wear makeup alone. It's not shallow at all.

    Great post omg!

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    1. I'm so glad you enjoyed reading! I think you're absolutely right, I get that all the time and I hate it! It doesn't affect anyone else so let me wear my winged eyeliner and leave me be haah! xo

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  8. Well said!! I love putting on make-up because I like practicing different looks or styles. Sometimes I wear it because I'm having an awful skin day or I just want to feel sassy!! :) xx

    Golly Miss Holly

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    1. Ahh sassy is just the perfect reason to wear make up tbh haha!! Thank you for reading lovely xo

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  9. I completely agree with make up helping with anxiety, I find that once my make up is on I feel slightly more ready to take on the day! I think its awful that people still say things like that, if it makes you happy, why should it effect them?! x

    Han | lifewithhan.blog

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  10. Well said! It's literally my war paint haha, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that, whatever helps you to cope! Exactly, it's the most harmless thing so I don't know why people get so weird about it! xo

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  11. You can wear however much (or little) makeup you want. I go through stages where I have a makeup routine in the morning, however this last year it's fallen a little flat. But, I love putting makeup on when I go out, as it is like war paint. And it does make me feel more confident!

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    1. Well said, lovely! It's your choice at the end of the day, it's your face!! xo

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  12. I absolutely love this post! I totally love makeup -- discovering new products, the act of putting it on, even taking it off and doing skincare afterwards. For awhile, I pretended to be a tomboy because people around me said similar things that you heard. It wasn't until recently -- maybe five years ago, that I was just like f*ck it -- I love makeup and I am going to wear it just because I want to. I've never looked back.

    Lovely post! xx

    Michelle
    dressingwithstyle-s.com

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    1. Yes girl! You shouldn't ever feel like you have to comply with what others think you should do - I hate that people make others feel that way! xo

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