Sian, Where the Hell Have You Been?

Tuesday, 27 December 2016

It's been an awfully long time since I last sat down and wrote a post. An awfully long time indeed.

I'd love to say that coming back to blogging feels like putting on an old pair of slippers, or stepping through your front door after a long day. Like coming home, and it's easy and comfortable. And while it does feel a little like that, as I sit here in my pyjamas, with a cup of tea, tapping away in stereotypical blogger style, that's not my overwhelming feeling.

I'm scared. I'm scared of getting myself back into blogging and hating it. I'm scared of working on posts and no-one reading them. I'm scared of starting at Square One. And I'm scared of going back to the "I'm working full-time now, I have no time to spend on blogging" mentality.

And that's probably the main reason that blogging has fallen by the wayside. All of my energy has gone into my job, and by the time I've got home from a long day, writing a post has been the absolute last thing on my mind.

But after having a conversation with a couple of my colleagues the other day, chatting about our goals, who we wanted to be when we grew up, and how and why did we end up where we are. And all I could really say was "I just want to write."

And I still do. Despite growing up and having to go into the real world where the main objective is being able to pay the bills, even if the way in which you do that isn't the way you dreamed of when you were a little girl. I love my job (most of the time) and I love the people that I work with, but I have allowed the grown-up, responsible part of me take over the creative side, that loves to write more than anything else in the world.

And I can have both, can't I? Surely, it just takes practice to gets the balance right?

Something to work on, I think.

Sian xo

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