I'm Coming Home

Tuesday 14 June 2016

This time four years ago, I was making plans to move away from home and have a fresh start at university. If you'd asked me back then if I ever thought I'd move back home, I'd have laughed at you and told you not to be ridiculous.

I'm writing this post from my mum's sofa, having moved back in just over four weeks ago.

In a lot of ways, it feels very strange to have come full circle. Like you were never away, but all of a sudden you're older and living on your own seems like a whole other lifetime ago. I'm back in a small rural town, where everyone knows everyone, and I can't even go to work without seeing someone from my childhood. Which is a massive culture shock having just come from a city where I could be relatively anonymous and reinvent myself. It's like the shadow of home me is following me around.

Any friends that I had before I left for uni have moved away and got on with their own lives. So it's become pretty lonely for me, because if I have a day off and no plans, my nearest friends are an hour away. All of my spare time is spent with my family, which I have loved but sometimes you just need a break to spend time with your friends!

Then there's the actual living at home. And yes, while it is lovely to have a proper meal cooked for you every night and your clothes seem to magically appear washed and ironed, there are some days where the novelty is well and truly worn off. I love my family to pieces, but going from having a two bedroomed house all to yourself to not even having a room to call your own is a pretty big adjustment to make. In fact, the only me-time I get is when I'm in the bath. If I can get in the bathroom when I want to.

I've found it's the little things that have got to me. Things like the way my brother bangs down the stairs first thing in the morning when I'm trying to have a lie in, or always having to be aware of letting Mum know that I won't be at home for tea when my plans for the day change. Just tiny little things that make me feel like the freedom that comes with living independently is gone.

This post probably just sounds like a great big rant, but that wasn't my intention. My point simply is that after four years of being completely independent and doing your own thing, moving back home can be a really difficult transition to make.

It's not all bad, though. It's been so lovely to spend some quality time with my family, to go back to my home church and forget about being domesticated for a while. I'm just looking forward to getting back to being independent again!

Have you been through the same thing? How did you cope?

Sian Kathrine xo

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